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driving lessons part 2
today's session was supposed to focus on how to drive a car when going up a bridge or hill. initially, i thought that that was gonna be easy. because i can simply floor the gas and do 60.
unfortunately, my new instructor had something else in mind. something scarier than taking the board exams or having your hair cut by a heavily intoxicated drag queen. see, he thought it would be fun to go up a bridge and just sort of hang there as if we were in heavy traffic.
teacher2: titigil tayo jan ha... o, clutch, brake.
radio announcer: round 11 na. Lamang si morales... dumudugo pa rin yung cut ni pacquiao...
me: ... pwede ko na ba i-release yung brake?
teacher2: sige, try mo. (with a sinister smirk on his face)
and we start slowly rolling down the bridge.
me: shit! (slams on the brake pedal)
teacher2: ay, hindi pala pwede noh (evil smile) buti na lang wala tayong kasunod... o sige, release mo dahan-dahan yung clutch, tapos gas...
namatay ang engine.
teacher2: sobra yung pagrelease mo ng clutch. Dapat halfway lang. (restarts engine) isa pa.
namatay ulit ang engine.
teacher2: sabi ko na dahan-dahan lang ang pagrelease ng clutch eh. (restarts engine) try mo ulit.
namatay na naman. paulit-ulit. nakakapikon.
radio announcer: round 12... tinotodo na talaga ni pacquiao ang suntok! ayun! ...medyo pagod na si morales, pero hindi pa rin mapatumba ni manny...
dahil nakakahiya na sa mga ibang drivers, naisip ng teacher ko na lumipat sa ibang bridge na walang mashadong dumadaan at doon magpractice.
radio announcer: 115-113... unanimous decision... el terrible erik morales!
me: SHIT!!!
namatay na naman. paulit-ulit. nakakapikon.
i think today could go down in history as the suckiest of all sucky days.
(sigh)
im gonna go drown my sorrow in ice cream now.
Sunday, March 20, 2005 @ 5:49 PM
lets get ready to rrrrruuuumble!!!
mamaya. 10 am.
at dahil pinoy ako, shempre i'm rooting for manny pacquiao.
kaso, mejo cutie kasi si morales eh. so sana hindi sirain ni manny ang gwapo niyang fez.
at sana din eh magstart sila on time. as in 10 am. kung hindi naman e sana magstart sila ng super late. around 230 (bakit ba? may driving lessons ako ng 1 eh).
pero higit sa lahat, wish ko lang eh hindi ako masuka sa kakanood ng 42,795 commercials ng vulcaseal at pigrolac.
@ 12:20 AM
driving lessons
somewhere in the streets of manila...
teacher: ano na nga pangalan mo?
me: amor po.
teacher: ahh... o teka, doray, easy lang sa gas... ayan... o sige, magpapalit tayo ng gear... release gas, apak sa clutch, shift to number two... konting gas... ayos! o doray, pwede mo nang i-release yang clutch...
while making a right turn at the corner of lacson and espana...
teacher: up grad ka, di ba? sige nga, anong gulong ang hindi gumagalaw pag nagle-left turn?
doray: (frowns) huh?
teacher: shempre yung reserba! mwahahahaha!
along d. tuazon...
teacher: alam mo kung paano ka matututo mag-drive agad?
doray: er... paano po?
teacher: pumili ka ng boyfriend na may kotse! kahit na hindi mo talaga type sagutin mo na. basta dapat may kotse. pag magaling ka nang magdrive, saka mo na lang sabihin na friends na lang kayo.
doray: oh-kei... (smiles)
teacher: at ito ang pinakaimportante. pag hindi cute, dapat hindi tinted ang salamin. pero pag cute and type mo naman, okey na din yung tinted. mwehehe!
doray: uh-huh.
Sunday, March 13, 2005 @ 11:52 AM
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