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sNaPsHoTs
it was a long drive back to school. and everyone falls asleep.
so you sit there alone, as the deafening silence overwhelms you. then the bus jumps over a hump, and like a surreal vision, you see yourself back in highschool: sitting in a similar bus beside that special someone.
you strain to remember...
suddenly, the images flood through you like a violent whirl of snapshots.
you picture him smiling, staring at you from across the room. and your heart skips a beat. you remember that one special moment on prom night. it was so vivid. you remeber the flowers, and the tender touch of his skin as he held your hands. you remember the song... the faint smell of his cologne...the warmth of his breath on your neck as you danced. it was perfect.
then you remember choosing. but only to regret that choice after a year or so.
you remember the confusion, the rejection, the rage. you remember that god-awful sound of the phone as you slammed it down after a huge fight. you remember the pain. and the hot, stinging tears that kept you awake for several nights.
finally, you remember trying to move on... yet somehow, you have no memory of ever letting go.
and then you realize that you can never really forget.
feeling trapped, you will yourself to go back to january 2004, wondering how these thoughts could still haunt you after six long years.
you stare at the camera in your hands. and just to pass the time, and perhaps to block the screwed up images in your head, you try to take pictures of everyone. you aim for an artsy shot, hoping that the next wave of images in your head would be better than what you just had.
Thursday, January 29, 2004 @ 1:15 PM
sOoO sAd
i saw my best friends wedding the other night and theres this one song that really got me. twas sooo sad. and the moment they used it on the movie was just so perfectly painful.
you give your hand to me and then you say hello
and I can hardly speak my heart is beating so
and anyone can tell you think you know me well
but you don't know me
no you don't know the one who dreams of you at night
and longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight
oh I am just a friend that's all I've ever been
cause you don't know me
you give your hand to me and then you say goodbye
i watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
oh you will never know the one who loves you so
well you don't know me
Monday, January 26, 2004 @ 7:44 PM
10 tHiNgS i ShOuLd Be DoInG iNsTeAd Of BlOgGiN
1. my pi powerpoint presentation
2. search for data on formalin
3. incorporate losses in the plant design material balance
4. energy balance
5. rrl for polymer configuration report
6. my nails
7. reaction paper for pv class
8. homework i thermo class
9. sleeping
10. cleaning my room
Sunday, January 25, 2004 @ 11:04 PM
pAsTliVeS
CaLL mE?
im crazy.
but i guess you know that already.
ive really been wishing youd call and ask me out again.
i know ive turned you down for like THE nth time, saying i was busy with school and all that crap.
but just this once, i want to say yes.
i want to feel the magic.
i want to know if theres still something to hold on to.
and just this once, i dont want to be afraid.
wHaTeVeR! 1/21/2004 07:59:57 PM
sCrEw SiLeNcE
i hate silent moments.
i especially hate the way they sneak up on you and dig up issues you've so desperately tried to forget.
darn.
im having one right now.
i used to think that i could simply shrug off this feeling. that i could let it go and not even give a shit.
but this has been going on for the longest time now.
and though id like to believe that we're actually better friends than that, somehow i couldnt help but doubt you.
and that just makes this pesky, gnawing feeling even harder to ignore.
wHaTeVeR! 1/19/2004 11:44:30 PM
mUsT nOt SlEeP aNd WaTcH tV bEfOrE sChOoLwOrK iS dOnE
its sunday afternoon.
and i still havent accomplished anything.
man, i used to be a really diligent student.
but now all i do is sleep and watch tv.
i need caffeine.
wHaTeVeR! 1/18/2004 11:27:14 AM
aArGh!
darnit.
i just blew my trying-to-save-up-for-the-gorgeous-slippers budget.
sigh.
wHaTeVeR! 1/16/2004 09:25:55 PM
hElP!
i dont know how to deal with this html stuff. (ei jax! wink, wink)
i finally found a skin that actually looks nice but there are still some things that id like to change. these are...
1. i want the "sunday, january sumthin" line CENTERed.
2. i want the "wHaTeVeR" line on the RIGHT.
3. i dont want to see the teeny bit of blogger ad peeking from behind the starry image. (saw this in your blog too, jax. wonder whats wrong...)
4. i want the headings of the column with the "about me" and "wishlist" stuff centered. but id also like the contents to be justified. also, i want the "loved" and "credits" stuff deleted and repleaced with other things like archives and links.
oh, and i also dunno how to attach pictures and links.please help me, fairy god friend. please, please, please, pretty please!thanks a bunch!!!
wHaTeVeR! 1/12/2004 10:46:02 PM
aSs HoLe
patrick called tonight to talk about stuff. just the usual nonsense really.
but what struck me about our conversation is this teeny 'lil thing he told me about this guy.
he and patrick were talking about me and my braces when he said that i shouldnt have gotten braces in the first place. i should have had a boob job.
two words.
ASS.
HOLE.
wHaTeVeR! 1/11/2004 01:38:40 AM
lAzY
ow-kei.it's 10pm and i still dont have a pi paper...man, what was i thinking...
wHaTeVeR! 1/4/2004 10:12:14 PM
@ 5:38 PM
cArRiE
... some people are settling, some are settling down...
and yet, some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies...
Thursday, January 22, 2004 @ 9:55 PM
hArHaR
yup, got a new blog!
minus the secrets, of course.
@ 9:53 PM
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